I haven't written in awhile due to my frustrations with God. And frustrations is just simply the word. God and I seem to have a closer relationship now where I argue with him. And he always has the opportunity to say "I get it, But I'm right!!"
When I began "attempting" (and I mean attempting) to surrender everything to God I fought with myself, the thoughts in my head, the things God would tell me and specially the things he'd show me. Because here I live in reality, the real world. Where life isn't always chocolates and roses. Where even though 1+1=2....God says 1+1=3. Your logic and mine says "um no, God, I'm sorry your wrong."
Now I'm not saying God spoke to me and said 1+1=3. (don't even try telling that one to your teachers) Because I have to believe that even he finds that ridiculous. And I'm positive he doesn't care what X and Y are. Or at what point train A will collide with train B.
I'm simply trying to make a point that God sees our journeys from every angle. The BIG picture. And sometimes we tend to see things as a narrow path in front of us. On my own journey I've been told so many things and shown a lot, that a lot of times I walk away from my conversations with God, feeling as though even though my reality is mine. God controls it. And even though we say and do certain things. God's up their saying "um yeah, check that equation again. This time show your work."
I constantly get reminders that I have to check myself. When I'm ready to throw my hands in the air and say "I'VE HAD IT!!" Or most recently "I love you, I hear you, I trust you, but I really don't want to listen to your right now. Your frustrating me."
Yes, you read it. God is FRUSTRATING me right now. And if I could I'd make him sleep in the dog house. However, I know better than that. He's going to laugh at me, shake his head and wait for me to get it.
