What Does HE WANT FROM ME!

After being scolded the other day by God himself I couldn't help but wonder "What does he want from me?" I mean he petty much told me:

 "Why don't you understand what I'm saying?"

 "I speak the truth and you don't believe me"

So I went back to his chapel to tell him. I'm sorry, this journey is all so new to me, and I feel as if EVEN THOUGH I HAVE YOU, I'm walking this alone. I feel like I have no one to share these things you teach me, tell me, as they all think I'm crazy, losing my mind or going insane.  I know that you see the bigger picture and your working on whatever it is that you  have planned for my life. But right now, the way things seem all I have is hope, faith and trust in you. I'm blessed by the things you tell me, the information you've given me on recent events in my life. But I've never done this before, I'm struggling with surrendering it all to you. Even though you told me "you've got this"  

When God says I sent him to lead you. He's your gift. Backed with scripture and everything else. But when you look at all events and all things right now, it doesn't make sense in earthly world. Its tough to be patient and let God take its course. 

I was filled with frustration which lead me to Joshua 8:

 Then the Lord said to Joshua, “Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. 

Discouraged..Perfect word for how I am feeling. I'm currently reading Surrender The life-changing power of doing God's will Its an amazing read on how to give it all to God, have strength, faith, trust all the things that are "DUH" put into a book. I can't put it down. I suggest anyone having struggles with surrendering and giving it to God to read it. 

So back to What does he want from me? I went to church this morning and normally I sit on the right side of the church. For whatever reason I decided to try the other side. I sat down, feeling discouraged, wondering about a lot of things. Knowing that I just had to trust. Suddenly a family sat two rows ahead of me.  Mother, Father and their adult kids. I recognized them. One of the boys was in my Sunday school class many years ago. I sat staring at the back of his head thinking how proud I was to see him sitting in church, with his family, wearing a shirt about the apostle Paul and just feeling like I had a piece in this, God allowed me a piece of his spiritual growth and even though when I taught him he was 3 or 4 years old. Here he is a young man in church.

It hit me. God wants me to teach. He's always wanted me to teach. I taught for 10 years when I was in middle school and high school. I went to college to be a teacher, but that never paned out. But here, in front of me one of my little ones, I'm suppose to teach more of his children. AMEN!!!

But it didn't stop there. The readings went on, the Priest said his sermon and more answers came "it isn't about how we feel something is or think something is its the way it is for now. Trust God and all he tells you, seek it shall be opened, knock and you will find. Walk by faith"