Again!?!?

I've been struggling with leaving my church and following the man that I love. So much these days. I've been researching, studying, questioning, asking for guidance. And yesterday (the same day God told me about Romans 2:6) Another verse came to me. This time it was 1 Thessalonians 5. 

I got to my desk and I went to: 
 http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Thessalonians+1&version=NIV  

It reads....
 

 Paul, Silas and Timothy, To the church of the Thessalonians in God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ: Grace and peace to you.

² We always thank God for all of you and continually mention you in our prayers. ³ We remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.

⁴ For we know, brothers and sisters loved by God, that he has chosen you, ⁵ because our gospel came to you not simply with words but also with power, with the Holy Spirit and deep conviction. You know how we lived among you for your sake. ⁶ You became imitators of us and of the Lord, for you welcomed the message in the midst of severe suffering with the joy given by the Holy Spirit. ⁷ And so you became a model to all the believers in Macedonia and Achaia. ⁸ The Lord’s message rang out from you not only in Macedonia and Achaia—your faith in God has become known everywhere. Therefore we do not need to say anything about it, ⁹ for they themselves report what kind of reception you gave us. They tell how you turned to God from idols to serve the living and true God, ¹⁰ and to wait for his Son from heaven, whom he raised from the dead —Jesus, who rescues us from the coming wrath.

 I really, felt this one in my chest, my heart and all over. It struck home with me. 

These verses really got me thinking...

Verse 2..we thank God for all of you and continually mention you in our prayers.. 

Verse 6..you welcomed the message in the midst of severe suffering.....

Verse 8..your faith in God has become known everywhere 

Verse 9..how you turned to God from idols to serve the living and true God

I must have read this chapter at least six different times. Each time feeling more and more at home and at peace with God. He's listening, he's leading and I'm on the right path.

 

                    

Father Brad

Tonight was the best experience I've had talking with a Priest. Until today, I've never actually prayed one on one with one. It was remarkable. I felt the true presence of God in that room while we prayed together and talked.

Father Brad isn't like most priests I've ever encountered. He's crazy, funny, down to earth, rambles, tells jokes and just seemed to understood exactly where I was coming from. It was such a relief.

I discussed the situation with Josh's pastor and realized I was in a good place with it all now, and that it was time to forgive, explain and thank him for his role in my journey.

I even expressed to Father Brad that I felt in order to continue the relationship with the man I loved as God intended I might have to leave the Catholic Church. He immediately put me at ease stating that many couples have separate places of worship. That they find away to share the differences and respect one another for them. That all are welcomed and its ok. That God helps guide, mold and nurtures the relationship.

I began to cry. I was so relieved. I could now stop feeling and questioning why God brought this wonderful man into my life, to find him only to take Josh away from me because of small differences. I felt reassured that this was the right path for me. 

I was so excited to tell Josh of my visit. And that this could really work, all our insecurities and thoughts of not being together because of our churches wasn't an issue after all. I felt more than ever things were going to be fantastic

I left feeling free, joyous and that I was finally on the right path with God. And my life. That there was no questions anymore, God was leading this.

Father Brad told me that I was in a great spiritual place. I thanked him and left knowing that life was just as fantastic as I always thought it could be.

Silence really is golden.

Ever since going to the seminar that Matthew Kelly taught I've been reading bits and pieces of the bible. Loving every minute of it and realizing that its a rather interesting book. And realizing how important it is to sit in silence.

So today, like any other day I got up, got ready and drove my normal twenty miles to work. When I thought to myself "If I shut off the radio can I hear God"

And that's exactly what I did. I shut off the radio and began to have a conversation with God. As at this point in my life, relationship etc I had a lot of questions, frustrations and I needed to get it out. And who better to listen. 


As I drove I talked, listened then sat in quiet. Trying to let my mind not wander. When suddenly Romans 26 popped into my head. I was like "Really? It's that easy?" I said "Ok God, I'm almost to work, when I get to my desk I'll look it up and read what you have for me."

Now some of you might be thinking "How does she know it was God, and she didn't just make that up?" Easy answer, I haven't read the bible and I really only know of Genesis and the Gospels. So it HAD to be God.

I finally get to work, turn on my computer and type, "Romans 26." Google gives me all these links, but not Romans 26. So I then Google how many chapters in Romans? Google tells me 16...


I look up towards the ceiling, start laughing saying "Funny God, real funny! I'm a bible rookie and you decide to tease me right out of the gates!" 

Finally I realize he meant Romans 2:6 which reads "God “will repay each person according to what they have done.”

I didn't really know what to think of that. Except that, that had to have been the coolest thing ever.




 

Seven Years Away...

I struggled for seven and a half years with my relationship with God. Don't get me wrong, there was no question in my mind that he existed. I used to know him but because of a failed marriage I grew angry at him. And I hated him. I started the healing process after my divorce, and after I filed for my annulment. I remember saying to God "if you grant my annulment, I'll know you were listening all along, and you forgive me for all my wrong doing, my faults and my hate towards you." 


Little by little the hate faded, and grew into not understanding why he allowed this to happen. 


After all my turmoil, pondering, questioning I realized it wasn't God's fault. And I fell into sadness. Because I allowed myself to walk away from the one man that had always been there. 
 
In October of 2011 God sent me one of the greatest blessings he could have ever sent me. His name was Joshua. I could easily make up a fictitious name for him to hide his identity. But Why? I owe so much of where I am today to him. And one day I hope he understands exactly what he brought to my life that no one else did.


Josh was a breath of fresh air for me. He was completely different than any other man I had met. Not in appearance, but his overall person, inside and out. When I first looked into his eyes I knew that there was something amazing that was going to happen. 


Josh, like myself had a past. One that many told me to stay away from, not to even think about, or think long and hard about because of x,y,z. But even with the hesitation and opinions of others, I just didn't care. I knew in the depths of my soul that there was something bigger going on.


Josh had such a wonderful outlook on God, the bible, life, where he was and where he was going. He had a personal relationship with God and I was jealous. So very Jealous.


Time went on and I began to want to have the same relationship with God. I knew that to have the type of relationship God intended and what Josh wanted I had to do something. But what?


Our beliefs were slightly different. But God is God none the less. I asked him to seek his pastors help in finding me a retreat. Long story short, after meeting with the pastor's wife and Josh being told they were afraid I wasn't going to be saved. I grew anger again. 


Through arguments, hostility (brought on because of me) we stopped talking about God. Sure we'd go to church together but other than that we never really discussed God. 


But on my own I knew that to be in a God blessed relationship I had to seek God to find Josh. And so my journey began...


May fifth I attended a seminar by Matthew Kelly and he opened my eyes, my mind and my heart WIDE open. And one of the things Matthew said was. "Have you read the bible?" Of course my answer was "No!!" Thinking to myself, "Do you have any idea how big and complicated that book is" Matthew went on to say envision yourself after you die standing at the gates of Heaven, God asks you "Did you read my book." 


That statement alone spoke VOLUMES to me. I kept thinking, "Wow, really? Having God ask me a point blank question as simple as "Did you read my book?" What would you say to that? You can't lie to God...he's all knowing, all loving...He died for me...


I went home that day and realized I needed to find God NOW, I needed to create a relationship with him, not just a "Hey God its me!" But a real, deep relationship with him. 

I picked up the Bible and I began reading......